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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659460">Starless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkspirit/pseuds/Darkspirit'>Darkspirit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Steven's oddysey [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Emotional Baggage, Family Issues, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Humanity, Identity Issues, Male-Female Friendship, Mistakes, Mommy Issues, Past, Post-Episode: s06e10 Prickly Pair, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Trust Issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:13:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,399</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkspirit/pseuds/Darkspirit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Who could have imagined that he would leave? Now family and friends, old and new, have to learn how to move forward without Steven’s light.</p><p> </p><p>(This fanfic is based on the theory that Steven might leave Beach City if his issues aren’t addressed)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amethyst &amp; Steven Universe, Andy DeMayo &amp; Greg Universe, Andy DeMayo &amp; Steven Universe, Bismuth &amp; Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Bismuth &amp; Steven Universe, Centipeetle | Nephrite &amp; Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran &amp; Steven Universe, Garnet &amp; Steven Universe, Greg Universe &amp; Steven Universe, Lapis Lazuli &amp; Peridot (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli &amp; Steven Universe, Larimar | Ice Monster &amp; Snowflake Obsidian, Pearl &amp; Steven Universe, Peridot &amp; Steven Universe, Steven Universe &amp; Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Steven's oddysey [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630159</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>198</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Cold, empty nest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I know the story was finished months ago, but I felt a burst of inspiration to do this surprise prologue, angsty and emotional as the rest of the story.<br/>Also, there is a little challenge inside the prologue and that is tan tan tan~! Guess the phrase and the show where it comes from!<br/>Because yeah, there was a phrase from a TV show that really fit in this prologue, and the one who finds it and says the name of the show will have some Pearl points!<br/>And with all of this stated already, enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His feet were dragging him to the backpack open before his bed.</p><p> </p><p>The clothes on his arms fell onto it and the sound they made was deafening, like rocks piling on his back.</p><p> </p><p>The smiles and laughs of past times were blurring as his vision swam on rebellious tears.</p><p> </p><p>He zipped the backpack and slowly, incredibly slowly, albeit reluctantly, grabbed the keys of his Dondai. His body was shining in that sickening pink color, but he pressed on.</p><p> </p><p>There was a fog in front of him. The silence on the house became unbearable as it spoke harsh truth after harsh truth.</p><p> </p><p>Jasper taunting him cruelly. His pieces of advice to the gems who worked on Beach City fucking everything up. Volleyball whimpering due to the raw destruction of his screams. The pink dome over his friends' heads. CactusSteven being yelled and hurt. </p><p> </p><p>He went down the stairs.</p><p> </p><p>Every step was more lost and emptier than the last one. What an irony, a plan without a plan at all. </p><p> </p><p>The wind caressed his face. The grains of sand, once ticklish and pleasant, now resembled sharp pieces of glass cutting his feet. </p><p> </p><p>The door of the Dondai was opened. If there was a way to describe his feelings it would be with the word 'zombie'. </p><p> </p><p>Nothing on the outside, nothing on the inside. </p><p> </p><p>Here we are in the future, and it was peaceful. </p><p> </p><p>And still, he couldn't move on. </p><p> </p><p>The engine roared and the vehicle started going to wherever Steven wanted to. But he didn't know where, exactly, just that it was necessary.</p><p> </p><p>Being as far away from the equation was necessary.</p><p> </p><p>Moving forward. </p><p> </p><p>Back to his purpose, back to his calling, back to his destiny.</p><p> </p><p>Would that even matter now that the world and the universe were finally safe?</p><p> </p><p>------------------</p><p> </p><p>Hours later, the Beach House tranquility was shattered when unanswered questions, hysterical tears, and yelling poured out from the door and the windows of the building.</p><p> </p><p>Even the impossible could happen to you at the most unexpected times. </p><p> </p><p>Steven Universe was gone. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It's done, I finally did it, and it hurt me and I'm gone! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's over, isn't it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And everyone moved on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's over, isn't it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wished I could move on. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Pearl: Patience, so thin and so precious</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She had no idea when things went so wrong. Well, to be honest, she may have, but so many changes and events happened that Pearl didn’t have enough time to deliver.</p><p> </p><p>Yep, that was it. She didn’t have time. She didn’t unless it was for something the veteran gem deemed truly important, maybe that’s why Steven decided to leave. Or maybe it was because of patience.</p><p> </p><p>Pearl hated to admit it, but she didn’t have the best track record at being patient, and many of her loved ones had to put up with her until they call her out for her crap. Or move to another place like Steven.</p><p> </p><p>People said third time it’s the charm, but in her case, <em>'limit</em> ' was the term that fit the situation she got herself into.</p><p> </p><p>The first time it happened, Amethyst fought her in the Prime Kindergarten, heartbroken because Pearl made her feel like a leech and they hadn’t been close like in those times when Rose was around. Back then, she was so caught up in trying to move on from Rose’s passing and training Steven, that checking on Amethyst wasn’t part of her to-do list. Considering how their estrangement and her actions might have hurt the quartz never crossed the thin gem’s mind, not until Steven demanded her to apologize to Amethyst and Pearl listened to her anguished partner crying for all the distance between them.</p><p> </p><p>She then started to make an effort to be better for their relationship, to be as close with Amethyst and understand her issues instead of rubbing her mistakes on her face.</p><p> </p><p>The second time it happened, she confessed to Garnet the trickery behind Sardonyx’s reasons to appear. Never in her quasi-immortal life had Pearl been so scared of her comrade when the permafusion loomed over her, like a beast ready to rip its prey apart, angry and betrayed for the lies, for being used.</p><p> </p><p>That time, Garnet didn’t want anything to do with her. Her patience was gone like her trust, and Pearl tried desperately to reach her friend. To get her forgiveness by capturing Peridot instead of talking and owning up to her mistakes.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t mean to. Tainting the foundation of Garnet’s existence, fusion, with her own selfish needs wasn’t part of the plan but Pearl wanted to feel it again. The sensation of being part of something greater, bigger, stronger. Confidence and security at the palm of her hands. The urgency of holding it close to her hard-light form turned into an addiction that prompted her to lie and trick someone she looked up to so much.</p><p> </p><p>That wasn’t strength at all but weakness. Pearl needed to be strong for herself and to be a worthy leader for the others when things got tough. Better late than never, right?</p><p> </p><p>The third time she found herself in an uncomfortable, awkward place when she was invited on a trip with Steven and Greg of all people. Steven wasn’t the problem, it was his father. Or, to rip the band-aid in a snap, it was her relationship with him that revolved around their feelings towards Rose.</p><p> </p><p>To say that Greg was letting her treat him so rudely was an understatement. Since they knew each other, Pearl never approved of his lifestyle, his closeness with Rose and the mutual attraction they had on each other.</p><p> </p><p>Yeah, yeah, she was jealous, no need to remind her of the obvious.</p><p> </p><p>Still, her singing time really worsened things when Greg got out of the room of the hotel where the three were sleeping. The sad expression, the hopelessness in his voice, the resignation about Pearl not wanting anything to do with him for being chosen by Rose instead of her. And again, Steven had to take care of things, encourage them to talk honestly and resolver the sea of bitter feelings they let fester for too much time.</p><p> </p><p>After that, she saw Greg for who he was, a kind and friendly man, flawed as her and wanting a chance to move on with the people he loved.</p><p> </p><p>Now that Pearl thought about it, there was a pattern in all those situations: Steven and his recurrent patience. He was despite his seriousness when the kid told her to say sorry to Amethyst; when he tried to cheer her up during her somber days after tricking Garnet and being confronted about it; when Greg left the room disillusioned and she didn’t know what to do.</p><p> </p><p>Now the issue was clearer. It wasn’t just her patience running low, it was Steven’s: spent so recklessly until he'd left.</p><p> </p><p>Guilt crushed tremendously due to reaching that conclusion. If she had known and done something he would still be here, but as always Steven was too kind for his own good to snap at her.</p><p> </p><p>Pearl didn’t know what was worse: Steven yelling at her for all she put him through unfairly or him leaving to stars-know-where while sparing her the shouting.Personally, she’d rather be scolded and see her little boy’s angry eyes pierce through her soul than have him leave. Almost anything would be preferrable than what he's said through actions: that Pearl had been taking his sweet patience for granted to the point of exhaustion, until he left. </p><p> </p><p>The veteran gem didn’t know when Steven would come back IF he would of course, but if he did, she would move Heaven and Hell to make up for all the times he had to be the adult and spend his patience on things that he shouldn’t have dealt with.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Garnet: Gray and wingless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For her, future vision was a blessing and a curse. Sometimes the possibilities were more diverse because the outcome could change with a single action that no one imagined. Other times the cards, no matter how different one from another, seemed copies and copies of a single idea but altered at a minimum while the end remained immovable. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This moment, her best ability hung heavily on every part of her body. Both Ruby and Sapphire's gemstones emanated the same feeling: helplessness. How could she fail to see something was wrong with Steven? Why had it taken until he showed his most troubled thoughts towards the Gems via CactusSteven? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Blindness was a term so foreign to her, but being reminded the time when Sapphire comprehended that focusing too much on the outcome instead of the process and how others might feel because of her actions gave Garnet a deeper understanding of the obvious: neither she or the other Crystal Gems knew what to do with Steven's needs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The planning, the wisdom, leadership and so many lessons he needed to learn he got them by teaching that to her, Pearl and Amethyst. It was a very productive process, they've come so far thanks to him, but the cost was the highest anyone could handle, for by helping others to prepare to fly, one sacrifices their own wings. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pretty poetic. Poetic and tragic. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before she was pictured as the adult, the rock everyone leaned to whenever hard times shook them, or that was what she conjured in her mind. In fact, it was all Steven. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite his initial immaturity and exuberance, his hardworking and merciful personality helped him to achieve the impossible for the greater good, for the Crystal Gems, for Earth. To protect the people he loved and make them happy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course, she should've seen this coming to stop it. So many sacrifices and obstacles can burn anyone, especially the best kind of people and by that she meant Steven. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was their base, his kindness and bravery kept the family together, his progress was the light that guided them so they could face anything on their own. But what about him? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Every time she resorted to her future vision, the only thing waiting for her was gray. A huge space painted in gray. No clues, no path, no escape or anything else. It was a canvas expecting to be used but no one knew how to start, making it feel abandoned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That must be how Steven felt all this time. The question CactusSteven had blurted out 'Why do I need to be needed?' a ruthless stab to her immaterial heart for not being observant enough about the signs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Steven, their dear child, gone in an instant, with his lovely future sacrificed for everyone's sake. <br/><br/><br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Amethyst: Too mature to relate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'And I'm sick of Amethyst acting as if she's so mature'</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Those words kept running through her mind even with all the distractions her room offered her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>To think that a day that started ok and with some surprises, has ended up destructive and full of red flags concerning Steven. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Remembering the distraught expression when his cactus spilled the worries, the self-worth issues, the anxiety, just sank her mood even more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Why?! Why didn’t he tell them he felt like that?! Did they say something bad to him to be this angry and frustrated? Was it because his human friends were gone and he felt lonely? But what about them, and Peridot, Lapis and Bismuth, and the rest of the gems he befriended? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The maelstrom of uncertainty and anger was nauseating. Heck, if Steven was here right now, she would give him a hug after lecturing him and make him spill the beans because what the hell?!, no one can just say the things Steven said to their loved ones while fighting a monster plant and then when asked what was going on just respond with 'I've said enough'. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Steven was never like this. Were humans prone to grow up this way -gem powers or not? Before he was always taking care of Little Homeworld and Little Homeschool, helping the new gems to adapt on Earth, his eyes shining with excitement at the idea of every gem enjoying the classes and discovering themselves. But it stopped to be fun for him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>First responsibilities, then stress, next to his mood and now all the other troubles he never told anyone in the house. Since when he had gotten so explosive, closed-off and defensive-mode? It reminded her of... </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It reminded her of her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Since when they started to act like the other from past times? Steven sometimes acted immaturely, but he was so kind and understanding whenever someone in the family was sad. Always listening and giving advice without making the other feel small or stupid. If it weren't for him, she would never see how strong she could be by just being herself, loving herself. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Where that went? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or maybe it wasn't where it went all that progress but where she had gone while Steven felt stuck. Did he really feel like that despite saving all the galaxy and changing the Diamonds' minds by himself?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>'You're the one who's being awesome'</em> that's what she mumbled when they fought each other to prove who was the worst year ago, and Amethyst meant it. Steven was the bravest, kindest and coolest guy she had ever met. He faced danger to protect people, he could control his powers, he defeated a lot of enemies.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Why was it so hard for him to see value in all of that?! Some angry tears were gathering at the corner of her eyes, her mind feeling fuzzy at how messed up the roles had turned to. She was acting just like Pearl, trying to find a way to fix something and being so adult-like but not listening completely when someone needed her to, while Steven was becoming her old self: scared, keeping a cheery facade, acting as if nothing was wrong or wasn't a big deal, and very hurt because there was no one who could understand how difficult was everything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Amethyst, though, could relate to those feelings. She sometimes wondered why she was a Crystal Gem if Garnet and Pearl treated her as if she couldn't achieve anything, or when Pearl grated her nerves by rubbing at her face every mistake on her list, or when Jasper kicked her butt and called her existence a joke. The purple quartz thought she was alone in those times, but Steven helped her to see her own potential. That learning to love herself was the greatest achievement. And she kept growing thanks to that, because of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By coming so far Amethyst didn't see how lost Steven was as if something was holding him back. It wasn't that visible before; however, the signs now were obvious. He needed to feel like he could be understood without being overwhelmed, feeling small or stupid or a burden, being pushed to just suck it up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Amethyst's anger grew hotter and bigger, nothing of this would've happened if he had talked to them!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then a cold, harsh realization struck her. It wasn't that easy because even if they had acted before he left, they would have made it seem as if his issues were a broken thing to repair using their adult bits of advice and wisdom crap which was missing the root of the problem and Steven would have felt more lonely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, in the end, their approach was a bad idea. Being an adult was a bad idea when you couldn't see when someone was hurting, oh! and Steven was gone! Yeah, that too!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Was this the cost of growing up? Was this how they were going to keep maturing or whatever while Steven was crashed by the many monsters he had been trying to hide so much?!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He made it seem so easy, and they should already have learned by the end. But it just worsened everything: Steven was missing and no one knew what to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yeah, maturity really sucked. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Greg: Humanity slippage and failed fatherhood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Greg Universe has been through a lot of things: his leg was broken by a runaway gem who could control water, he was kidnapped by a giant female tyrant, he became a new member of a zoo where humans were treated as animals, he found out that his deceased lover wasn't a Rose Quartz but Pink Diamond, one of the four rulers of Homeworld. He could make a list that may never end.</p><p> </p><p>However, all those events, some traumatic and some shocking, were easy to overcome compared to the most devastating one: losing his son. When the Gems came to him all freaked out, blabbering nonsense related to Steven, he knew something wrong happened to his little Shtu-ball and it took him a lot of time to calm everyone down, especially Pearl, to get to the bottom of this. Garnet was the one who gave him the news, that his beautiful son was missing. </p><p> </p><p>There was no note, some clothes of his were packed the day before Steven left and the parking space where his car was always put was empty. If his bad eating habits put some strain on his heart, the sole idea of Steven being in god-knows-where struggling to survive almost gave him an attack. </p><p> </p><p>It didn't make sense at all! Why would he leave?! They searched everywhere and there was no clue of him. Pearl was hysteric, crying nonstop; Amethyst was very close to snap at her, and Garnet's posture got more stiffened by the second.</p><p> </p><p>No one could find him. It was as if Steven had disappeared in a magic trick.</p><p> </p><p>His heart was ready to give in but not to a sudden stop, but sadness. Many questions about why his son would do such a thing were answered by the gems telling him how Steven's behavior turned unhealthy and worrying the day he decided to try gardening.</p><p> </p><p>The more Greg found out, the more ashamed he felt. He never knew Steven had been going through all of that. He assumed he was fine, just a bit stressed because of the amount of work Little Homeschool gave him. But again, his lack of being part of Steven's life enough to help his son showed Greg how short-sighted he was.</p><p> </p><p>Those comments against the gems, that desperation to be useful, wanting to be an object with purpose. Since when Steven started to see himself as a tool instead of a human being? If he had been there to talk with his son, things would have been different!</p><p> </p><p>Right?</p><p> </p><p>Or maybe not. Maybe his Shtu-ball had pushed him away to not worry him or try to act as if that issue wasn't such a big deal. Typical of him, not bother everyone and consider their feelings, though that only caused his departure.</p><p> </p><p>Greg closed his wet eyes and cleaned the tear-tracks on his cheeks. Since Steven was born, the bearded man tried to be a good father for him, to not repeat the same mistakes his old man did against him when Greg was Steven's age.</p><p> </p><p>He was kind, supportive and really, really proud of his son, but now that he thought about it, whenever stuff related to gems came to the picture, he'd rather be very far away from it than help, believing the Gems could deal with it.</p><p> </p><p>And of course, they could. However, the more he distanced himself from gem stuff, the less space Steven had for human stuff. Because Greg was the only connection to his human side, apart from Connie.</p><p> </p><p>Being there for him only in easier and more peaceful times wasn't enough to reassure Steven that his life shouldn't be turned into an instrument so everyone could be better and happy. His little boy was merciful and selfless, such a saint but even saints need a break for saving people.</p><p> </p><p>And saints ARE human beings, not fix-it-tickets.</p><p> </p><p>But, like how many times did Greg tell Steven that it was better to let others deal with their own issues and relax? To not wonder if you're loved even if you weren't being needed at the moment? </p><p> </p><p>Greg couldn't remember, and that terrified him. With Connie, he made a human alliance because they were the only humans Crystal Gems. What a huge mistake! He should've included Steven too! </p><p> </p><p>He was a human, special yeah, but human still. With feelings, desires, wishes, virtues, and flaws. </p><p> </p><p>But his son felt like there was no time for that as long as people needed him, and now that everything was perfect (Not really, because Steven was missing and no one knew where to look anymore) Shtu-ball ended up lost, wanting to do something for others as if he was a magic wand that grants wishes and forgetting his life and humanity were important too. </p><p> </p><p>What Greg had done to convince him otherwise? Being cool and fun were good things, but Steven needed an adult to help him go through all the stuff he had seen and experienced. Still, he was completely surrounded by people who were adults in age number not in attitude. Greg was, sadly, a member of that list. </p><p> </p><p>He felt like such a failure of a father and he bet that sentiment was mutual with the Gems about being caregivers. </p><p> </p><p>However, he couldn't mourn his loss forever and wallow in guilt and self-loathing as if that were going to cause a miracle. It was true that he wasn't the adult Steven needed to rely on before, but maybe, just maybe Greg could become that once he found his son and begged him for forgiveness. </p><p> </p><p>Crying, kneeling in front of him, listing his many flaws, humiliating himself. He would do anything to make up for his shortcomings, so Steven felt safe and hopeful again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Peridot: Nowhere to fit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For someone like Peridot, problems of any kind could always be solved by cleverness and perseverance.</p><p> </p><p>Something broke? She could fix it. A new building needed to be built? She knew how to start. Someone had a plan to improve Little Homeworld? She had the resources to make it true in a snap.</p><p> </p><p>However, bringing Steven back after everyone was told that he left was a challenge Peridot never expected to face. It happened so quickly. Bismuth, her and Lapis were informed by the freaked out Crystal Gems that Steven was gone as his car and some clothes of his. Lapis immediately flew away to try to find him, she felt that her blue companion could understand Steven's reasons to leave on some level despite the absurdity behind the mess.</p><p> </p><p>Bismuth stayed with Pearl, who was an emotional avalanche, and she, Garnet and Amethyst got some gems Steven had befriended to create a rescue group, just in case the kid was found in serious trouble. Still, none of their efforts were enough to find him. Not even Lapis', who returned somber and at the edge of an anxiety attack.</p><p> </p><p>What stroke Peridot most was why Steven would do something like this. Quitting his teacher career on Little Homeschool wasn't a red flag for her as she knew that taking charge of everything sometimes was exhausting, so he needed a good vacation. Spending time in things he liked didn't seem bad either, as everyone had hobbies. But the root of the problem wasn't those activities; it was Steven's volatile and closed-off behavior.</p><p> </p><p>The things he said about the Crystal Gems and himself: the reason to be needed, Amethyst being too mature to get why he felt like he felt, Pearl blaming herself for him to just pick the pieces, Garnet's almighty pieces of advice that didn't help at all. Yeah, there was too much baggage on those statements. Peridot, though, got a very weird but sounding conclusion about why he said what he said.</p><p> </p><p>This pattern of behavior reminded her of her own struggles to adapt when she resigned to her fate to be stuck on Earth with their once-former-enemies. Back then, she was just like anyone else of her kin before Era 3: a Yellow Diamond-loyalist Peridot with duties to fulfill, too many problems in her way and too little time. Dealing with the fact that her limb enhancers had been rid of was annoying and frustrating, but the fact that she had to work with a bunch of rebellious off-colors that were supposed to be dead was another story.</p><p> </p><p>Everything on Earth was so different, so confusing. A Pearl who could build machines and didn't receive orders from anyone, an overcooked Amethyst with a vulgar foreign language, a crossed-fusion who acted so freely and a hybrid of a gem and a human?</p><p> </p><p>Where was she, in a circus from another planet?</p><p> </p><p>Whatever. She wanted to live, not be shattered by the Cluster, so if Peridot had to become an ally of those clods, so be it. </p><p> </p><p>However, life got more difficult when she found out via communicator that her oh-so-logical Diamond wasn't that perfect as she thought but a flawed, emotional person. </p><p> </p><p>After that, the flow of things and confusion took a hold on her life. Without Diamond's orders, a caste system, her limb enhancers and with the fact that her new home would be the same planet she despised and worked hard to destroy, what was Peridot going to do? </p><p> </p><p>Everyone seemed so content and secure about their lives, even if it went out of the model set for them. Something she had trouble to grasp because, if no one told you what to do, what were you supposed to do then? There was no system, everyone acted so independently but with a teamwork spirit, it baffled her totally. </p><p> </p><p>Peridot, at first, thought the Crystal Gems and especially Steven were utterly delusional. I mean, how could they go on so smoothly in the chaotic disorder they were so immersed to? It was as if they were mismatched pieces of a puzzle trying to fit with each other and not seeing it didn't work.</p><p> </p><p>However, time showed her otherwise. Pearl could fit without being someone's possession, and her mechanical and technological knowledge wasn't a product of copying from superior gems, but from her own hard work. </p><p> </p><p>Amethyst felt at home, not because of the technicality of being made on the Prime Kindergarten on Earth, but because she was let to be herself and had people who cared for her. </p><p> </p><p>Garnet didn't need to hide or feel self-conscious because she was in an environment where differences weren't deemed as something to punish but to celebrate. </p><p> </p><p>And Steven, the one who Peridot owed the many opportunities to show her true self and her abilities, he was so carefree and accepting. He made her feel that the impossible was possible no matter if you thought you were powerless. </p><p> </p><p>With his help, many gems learned that they didn't need to be pieces of some square-minded puzzle, but the complements of themselves and each other to create a whole, beautiful picture. </p><p> </p><p>Now, sadly, the picture was in half because Steven was gone. </p><p> </p><p>Steven, who was the sole cause that their lives had some meaning. </p><p> </p><p>Steven, who taught her she could be more than a mindless, Diamond-loyalist Peridot and find her own powers and identity. </p><p> </p><p>Steven, who established peace between Earth and Homeworld, and even created a place for gems who wanted to start again. </p><p> </p><p>Steven, who gave them hopes to fit without being matched pieces. </p><p> </p><p>But he started to see himself as a mismatched piece of an old puzzle who couldn't find a place to belong despite having so many people loving him. Ironic, right? </p><p> </p><p>What did Steven see in all his success and the gems he helped that made him feel so out of place? </p><p> </p><p>She never noticed something wrong on him until the news of his departure came, though the root of the issue was still elusive to her.</p><p> </p><p>He should've been happy to accomplish things that were deemed impossible. He faced the Diamonds and changed their minds for star's sake! </p><p> </p><p>It was so frustrating! She felt the answer was there, in all those comments towards the Crystal Gems and his very out-of-place behavior, but another factor needed to be found to see the full picture. </p><p> </p><p>But what was it? </p><p> </p><p>"Thinking about Steven again?" Lapis' voice got her by surprise and Peridot looked at her friend. Her blue eyes were darkened by sadness, tear tracks decorated her cheeks and her posture was resigned and depressed. </p><p> </p><p>Instantly, Peridot took her hand to make her feel a bit better which Lapis appreciated "Yeah, a bit. No, a lot. It doesn't make sense! HE doesn't make sense at all! Why would he leave?! Why would he feel like this?! If it weren't for him, none of this -Little Homeworld, Little Homeschool, living in peace- wouldn't have happened. Why not enjoy it?!"</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe he did enjoy it, but... But something else got in his way and now he doesn't know what to feel any more." </p><p> </p><p>"How could you know?! He hadn't told anyone about this! Not even the same people who raised him since he was a baby!" </p><p> </p><p>"I'm not saying I know with total certainty. I just feel it." </p><p> </p><p>"Feeling doesn't help to bring him back!!" Peridot yelled enraged. Lapis flinched a bit but didn't say anything, just stared at her friend. </p><p> </p><p>"Sorry, sorry. I got carried away." </p><p> </p><p>"It's alright" Lapis places a hand on Peridot's shoulder to try to comfort her "I miss him too. I wish I could have known about how he felt before this happened." </p><p> </p><p>"I have some ideas of why he left, but it will sound silly." </p><p> </p><p>"It's ok, maybe we can understand better and use it to find him" </p><p> </p><p>"It's not a clue to find Steven but a list of reasons why he did what he did. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong or just exaggerating, but I think he is struggling with the many things that have transpired around him which had never happened, you know? I mean, this is Steven we're talking about! He is the guy who helped us to adapt on Earth, encouraged us to be and do better, to feel at home on a foreign planet. Now though..."</p><p> </p><p>"Roles have inverted. It's Steven now who felt like he can't belong here, like all the changes around him are just pushing him out of everyone's help"</p><p> </p><p>"Which is absurd! He belongs here with all of us!"</p><p> </p><p>"Remember how we used to despise Earth because it reminded us of all the trouble we went through?" Peridot nodded "Maybe Steven is remembering something nasty when seeing everyone living so well their lives, though what that's what I want to know"</p><p> </p><p>"Me too. Besides, yeah, we have been attacked by Spinel, there are many gems unhappy with the changes made by him, but Steven had always been so optimistic. Why stop now? Why-why leave?" The pent-up emotions were so much for Peridot that some tears rolled down her cheeks. Lapis side-hugged her and sighed.</p><p> </p><p>"Steven always fit everywhere he went" Peridot said with a shaky voice "I remember how he wanted us to be ourselves so we could adapt better, no rush. But, if what he said about Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst during that cactus incident is proof enough, then did he really felt like he never belonged or fit with all of us? With his own family and friends?"</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know... Perhaps, it didn't last that long as he thought"</p><p> </p><p>Peridot deflated even more. It was the biggest and most tragic irony. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Lapis: Please, trust us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trust. Such a beautiful and complicated term. You can trust yourself or others so much it hurts when things go wrong or not risking anything at all. Still, when you make the decision there is no going back, only the tiny hope of a reward or being swallowed by a sea of despair.</p><p> </p><p>Trust was a crossroad Lapis had too many troubles to deal with even with Steven at her side. But still, he was someone she could trust. His kindness, his bravery, his bright smile gave her a bit of peace in such dark moments.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes, just remembering all the love and friendship he felt for her was too painful.</p><p> </p><p>How a selfless kid like him could forgive the misdeeds of a monster like her?<br/>Stealing the ocean, Malachite, almost drowning him, abandoning him and Peridot when the Diamonds were going to invade Earth again.</p><p> </p><p>Heck, she could still see his disappointment and worry when she was this close to crushing the two Lapises on that planet after they dismissed their attempts to change their minds.</p><p> </p><p>So much power and when it was time to use it right...</p><p> </p><p>Lapis just snapped.</p><p> </p><p>It was a miracle Steven still trusted her despite the many proofs that showed him otherwise. That willingness to give a second chance, the benefit of the doubt was a treasure Lapis didn't know how to not take for granted for her head was full of somber what-ifs: what if their efforts were in vain? What if the plan failed? What if their enemies were too strong to defeat?</p><p> </p><p>But Steven made them all, even her, see that trusting for the situation to get better, for their teamwork to be productive and successful wasn't a waste but a brave leap of faith.</p><p> </p><p>Lapis still had so much to learn about trust and hope, but she was learning and couldn't have been where the blue gem was right now if it weren't for Steven's optimistic attitude, his sheer will to make faith flourish.</p><p> </p><p><em>'Now it's so different though'</em> she thought, her mind a maelstrom of worry and sadness. Everything stopped being the same when Steven left, her attempts at finding him just vain work that put her mood in such a miserable hole.</p><p> </p><p>The most worrying thing, however, was this turn on events. How someone as bold as Steven became so closed-off, ready to snap, pushing others away, not wanting any help at all.</p><p> </p><p>Distrustful, distant, pessimistic.</p><p> </p><p>It sounded like her and Lapis didn't like it at all.</p><p> </p><p>"Something on your mind, Bluedrop?" Bismuth's voice got her out of the meditative state she was in and exhaled a bit to calm her nerves. Her friend noticed the tension on her shoulders so she put a hand on one of them to help her maintain her composure "Hey, sorry for the unexpected scare. Peridot told me you were still in your 'art room'. I thought it was because of grief but it seems you have other plans."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't think this should be called 'other plan'. It's more like a desperate resource" And it was. Knowing that looking for Steven by flying wasn't going to work no matter the number of attempts, Lapis wracked her brain for new ideas from the morning to the start of the night and this in front of her was the only course of action she could get: a piece of paper and a pen. A letter to Steven.</p><p> </p><p>Lapis wanted to laugh in self-deprecation. A letter would do nothing to bring him back, besides, they didn't even know where he was at those moments. Only a miracle could put her letter in Steven's hands but the real challenge was for her written words to get through him which, considering how he acted with Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst, was asking too much for him even if it was for Steven's sake.</p><p> </p><p>"This is stupid" she mumbled bitterly and pushed away both paper and pen. Bismuth stopped her, though, and looked at the blank paper "Why? Don't know how to start?"</p><p> </p><p>"Even if I knew, do you really imagine that Steven will read my letter and return?"</p><p> </p><p>"It may be a possibility"</p><p> </p><p>"It won't be enough." Bismuth looked at her as if she didn't get the point "I mean, not even Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst could stop him and they raised Steven."</p><p> </p><p>"That's also a possibility, but it won't hurt to try"</p><p> </p><p>Lapis conjured in her mind a little, sweet Steven telling her to not give up. It made her feel better if only a tiny bit.</p><p> </p><p>"You sounded so much like him right now. He always saw the good even in people who were unable to show it and trusted that part was going to make a change for the better. And now... Bismuth, I'm scared"</p><p> </p><p>"I know. Everyone is. We don't know where he could be or if he is alright"</p><p> </p><p>"That's not all. I'm scared that Steven is turning into me"</p><p> </p><p>Bismuth opened her mouth then closed it, her eyes showing confusion, "Uh, care to explain?"</p><p> </p><p>"Remember when I told you about...you know, my past? All the bad things and mistakes?"<br/>How could she forget? In some way or another, Bismuth could relate to Lapis: both were trapped for thousands of years because of the actions of Pink Diamond, confused because of the many changes around them, they attacked Steven and almost killed him for different reasons, they owed him a lot for the lives they had now. And yeah, maybe Bismuth hasn't run away to the moon or trapped herself and another gem via fusion, but she was impulsive and narrow-minded too, sometimes.</p><p> </p><p>"So, about that," the gray gem started "what concerns you more of Steven becoming you if I'm guessing right?"</p><p> </p><p>Lapis sighed and went to the point, "I didn't trust Steven back then, when he told me and Peridot that he had escaped from the Diamonds, from their trial. Even when he said it was ok for us to leave if that could ensure our safety, I could've done something different than running away. I could've trusted him and Peridot too, try to fight and defend my new home, my new life from another war... But I didn't"</p><p> </p><p>"You returned, though. And I see where you're going. You were scared, it was too overwhelming and you couldn't see that trusting your friends might be another solution. And now you think that is what Steven is doing or heading into"</p><p> </p><p>"Think I may be overthinking?"</p><p> </p><p>"Not so much after what the others have told me of his behavior. Or it might be something else"</p><p> </p><p>"Still, I'm scared he falls into that habit of pushing others away and their help. Being that afraid and hurt to the point of snapping at anyone, even the people he loves. It still takes me time to be completely open to the ones I care about, what if... What if my actions rubbed off on him?"</p><p> </p><p>"Trust issues can come from any circumstances. Maybe he had them much before you two met each other"</p><p> </p><p>"How? He was so brave and ready to face the unknown. He taught me that"</p><p> </p><p>"Steven is also good at hiding how he felt to protect others' feelings. Maybe we never saw that he was scared and overwhelmed because he kept it secret very well. I mean, what Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst said about that Cactus Steven incident was more like the tip of the iceberg, not the reason he left"</p><p> </p><p>"Tip of the iceberg?" Lapis raised an eyebrow, she wasn't that accustomed to human phrases.</p><p> </p><p>"It means a tiny fraction of the problem. And with Steven being gone, that incident, how freaked out and desperate the Crystal Gems are, there is a lot we don't know of Steven's feelings. We're barely finding out some clues, like your idea of him turning into your past self"</p><p> </p><p>Lapis stayed silent, musing about Bismuth's reflections. Her friend may be right, Steven might haven't been totally honest, just showing a bright, confident smile, his readiness to help people while his issues -not only the trust-related ones- kept growing and festering until the cactus incident and his decision to leave.</p><p> </p><p>"Bis... What...do you think would have happened if he had trusted us, or at least the people he knew before he met us? Would things have been different?"</p><p> </p><p>Bismuth grimaced, wishing to have some hypothetical future vision to give an encouraging answer, but what they needed right now wasn't that; it was to find the source of Steven's issues that even the others were unable to take seriously.</p><p> </p><p>"Want me to be frank? I don't know. It might have been a 50/50 situation. Things could've gone right or they could've gone wrong. Or maybe remain the same. But, what we have learned about Earth is that--"</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing stays the same. Just like Steven told me. Ugh! Bismuth, what I need is encouragement, not depressive honesty!"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, that's why there are a lot of trust issues, don't you think? We want everyone to feel safe but we don't trust them to deal with the bad news because we don't like how they react in our minds. Hurt, betrayed, enraged, conflicted. So, we bottle up many things and let them get out of control in the end"</p><p> </p><p>"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you now sound like Garnet, all wise-like"</p><p> </p><p>"It comes from experience" Bismuth smiled, flattered, then her eyes scanned the paper in front of Lapis that was still in blank "About the letter, Laz. What if I give you a piece of advice?"</p><p> </p><p>"As long as it's not more depressive honesty, I will appreciate it." Her grey friend just rolled her eyes before responding "Talk from the heart. It's a human phrase that means talking with complete honesty. Convey all your feelings, thoughts, worries and anything else you think it's necessary, but most importantly, trust yourself while doing it"</p><p> </p><p><em>'This advice of hers is really so cliché'</em> Lapis even wanted to give that opinion to the blacksmith; however, some of her words made her reconsider, though not in a good way. She knew Steven was caring and compassionate so what would happen if he read this letter? Would he feel guilty? Doubtful? Would he believe everyone was better off without him? What if her words just motivated to push the others away more than ever?</p><p> </p><p>"Steven needs to know that he also needs help" intervened Bismuth, who was observant enough to see in which path Lapis' mind was going "He can't just stay away from the people who love him because he thinks it will be better like that. And if he tries, it will be his decision, not yours"</p><p> </p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p> </p><p>"You believe your words will worsen this situation, right?" Lapis' eyes got wider at Bismuth's perceptive remarks "Yeah, thought so. Still, you want to help him, to give him some hope, but it's up to Steven to let them get through his head. If that happens, it's great. If not, the consequences will be his only"</p><p> </p><p>"This isn't his fault!!" Lapis snapped in Steven's defense but also feeling defensive and offensive. Bismuth placed her hands in front of her to placate her friend's ire while thinking of an argument that can explain the situation better without playing the blame game.</p><p> </p><p>"Look, it's not that Steven wanted this. I'm not saying that if you think otherwise, but he still left. He is in a bad place, though. And we can help him, that's without question. However, If he keeps rejecting our help and distance himself from everyone, how can we know what's wrong with him? We're not mind-readers"</p><p> </p><p>Lapis went aghast at that statement. Her blue skin going ten or more tones lighter as if something was absorbing all of her color, her body rigid as a statue. If Bismuth was right about this...</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, stars! Then it's true! He is turning into me!"</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, hey, calm down. Let's not go over that path"</p><p> </p><p>"But Bismuth, Steven is--"</p><p> </p><p>"Overwhelmed, scared, confused, hurt, angry, frustrated. You name it. But, he's not alone, even if his own mind tries to convince him of the opposite"</p><p> </p><p>"He told me back then, in the moon, that good things might happen even if everything looked bleak. He always followed his instincts and trusted us to do the same... I want to do the same for him, Bis, even if he doesn't want to read the letter or if it never reaches him. I want to. It's the least I can do to repay him"</p><p> </p><p>"That's the spirit! Want me to give you some ideas?"</p><p> </p><p>Lapis smiled at her kindness but shook her head, "Thank you, Bis, but I need to do this privately. Still, once I have finished, I'd love if you and Peridot were here to listen to what I wrote and give me your opinions. A translator could also be a good company because I can only write in Gem and I'm not that familiarized with human's languages"</p><p> </p><p>"Of course, Laz. Take your time. Call to any of us if you need something" Lapis saw her friend got out of the art room, silence again engulfed her but this time it wasn't as tense and desolate as before. Looking at the blank paper in front of her, the blue gem tried to think in the best way to start so her letter wasn't that forced or cheesy or anything, just a part of herself she wanted to give to Steven so he could know that everyone got his back. That he wasn't alone.</p><p> </p><p><em>'Talk from the heart. I should let my heart guide me'</em>. It was indeed a very sappy conclusion, but it wouldn't hurt to try. So, she started:</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em> <strike>'Dear Steven' </strike> </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>(That approach sounded more like Pearl's than hers, so she eliminated it)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>'Hey, Steven'</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>(Yeah, that was better)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>I hope this letter finds you, and If it happens the only way to know who wrote it is by recognizing the handwriting. Yeah, it's me, Lapis!</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>Your Summer Beach Fun Buddy!</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
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    <em>You may be wondering (if this letter finds you, of course) if it's a dream that someone like me wrote this for you. Believe me when I'm saying that I was <strike>desperate</strike> willing to do anything so I could talk to you. Heck, everyone is right now. I'm not sure if you can feel it, Steven, but if that is possible may be what you need to do is take a break for the long, unexpected journey and, you know, try to trust others or the possibility of something good happening. You were so good at that. Being optimistic, full of faith in us despite our shortcomings.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>You know, Steven, that's what my letter is about. Trust. I know this story is as old as you can imagine but being trapped in a mirror for thousands of years made of that word a foreign concept, a treasure I thought was impossible to obtain.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>How could I trust others when I was so hurt by many people? The ones who mistook me as a rebel, Pearl who never set me free, the Crystal Gems whom I resented for keeping me in that mirror, Peridot who used me for information, Jasper who wanted to fuse with me for her revenge.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>And how could I trust myself to be happy and safe again when I felt so lost and confused that made me snap without control? Becoming a monster by trapping and torturing Jasper in an enraged fusion, attacking you and your friends while stealing the ocean, abandoning you and Peridot when I feared another war was coming.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>It was you who gave me the answer, Steven. Even if I was too stubborn and selfish to understand or give it a try, you taught me that there were people I could give a second chance like Peridot because they were willing to change and she did marvelously. People who I could relate to despite my past resentment or our differences, like Pearl or Bismuth who felt as trapped as me but for other reasons. You taught me even to see my mistakes, my fears, and my scars not as hideous traits that could hold me back, but motivations to improve and trust myself more.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>And if I remember correctly, there was a kind and bold half-human kid who told me once 'What if something good happens?' when I thought there was no way facing the Diamonds would end up with a happy ending.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>It was your faith and trust in everyone around you, even the ones who hurt you, that gave us the precious life we have now. You never stopped helping us, never saw us as broken, irremediable beings, you just went to our aid and showed us another way to be better, to live happier.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>This, yeah it sounds sappy, I don't know how you will take it if this letter reaches you, but it's true. If it weren't for the leaps of faith you've made with us and for us, Homeworld and Earth would have never been in peace, Little Homeworld would be just a dream instead of a reality, the corrupted gems would still be mindless beasts, and gems like me would still leave in fear and alone.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>And being lonely and scared is something I don't want you to go through, in any way.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>Remember when you asked me 'Would you rather be alone?' a bit before I escaped from the moon? I thought it was the best way to not be hurt or feel despair but it wasn't, and to make it worse, it hurt you and Peridot because I let my terror blind me to a solution that was in front of me all this time: trusting my friends.</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>Things would have been different back then if I had trusted you two If I had put my faith in the people who care about me and in myself to defend the new life I had. I'm not sure if you have felt like you hadn't done enough for me after I ran away, but you have. Both you and Peridot have and much more; it was me who didn't make an effort to trust you when the moment came. There was no time for me to feel completely safe, especially after thinking that the Diamonds would come to Earth again; however, that wasn’t an excuse to not see that trusting you and myself could have changed things for the better. </em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>And now, I'm scared that you're doing the same, Steven. I'm terrified of imagining that someone as gentle and brave as you are going to shut everyone out, isolating yourself instead of seeing that trusting the people who love you can lift that weight off your heart. I don't want that for you, but I don't know what kind of issues you were dealing with to decide to leave when you have all of us to help you. </em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>I know it might sound hypocritical of me to give this speech because I wasn't the best at communicating my problems. I used to snap, to get too frustrated because I couldn't heal as fast as I wanted, I isolated myself instead of talking. You showed me other ways to handle all of that. Trust and hope. Believing in the people who love me whenever they wanted to help me, trusting in my virtues instead of letting my flaws decide my future. Everyone wants the same for you. </em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>Steven, if any kind of miracle places this letter in your hands, my only wish is for you to see that you're not alone. Don't think that just because you are in a bad place, it means that all you've accomplished will disappear because it won't. That just because we want to lend you a hand you're going to become a burden, that's far from the truth. You're not a burden, or a lost cause or anything your mind might conjure, Steven. You're a savior, a hero, and most importantly, our friend. So, please, think about it. We'll be waiting for you. Happy to help you as much as you did for us. Trust us. Trust the Crystal Gems and Greg who raised you and loved you so much; the friends you've made despite our differences, like Bismuth, Peridot and me; the people you saved and befriended like the healed gems because even if things change little or nothing at all, at least you'll have tried. And no one, I mean it, no one will judge you if you still feel lost. Never forget what you told me a long time ago, 'What if something good happens?'. That something might be very close for you to enjoy if you make a leap of faith, if you trust us to help you. </em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>I hope fate can reunite us again, and if not, at least I will be tranquil knowing that you're ok somewhere else. </em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>Please take care of yourself, Steven. </em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>With love and hope, </em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>Your Beach Summer Fun Buddy. </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>After finishing, Lapis looked at Peridot and Bismuth to ask them what they thought about her letter, only meeting teary gazes, deeply touched at her words. </p><p> </p><p>"That was...beautiful, Lapis" Peridot said and ran to hug her, which the blue gem complied, grateful for her friend's encouragement. </p><p> </p><p>"You've really taken my advice seriously, Laz" Bismuth rubbed at her eyes to clean them from the unshed tears, sniffing a bit. </p><p> </p><p>"As you said, wisdom comes from experience. So I just needed to put it in my letter" her gray friend nodded, happy to have helped. Now, a translator was necessary to make the letter contents understandable, role Peridot willingly took in an instant. Hours of incessant translating later and the message was ready to be sent, but not in the traditional way. Instead of using a mailbox or anything common for humans to send letters to others, Bismuth built a hot air balloon-like lantern where the message could fit without being burnt by the fire. The three gems met in the top of Little Homeworld's tower, ready to sent Lapis' letter. To say she was nervous was a huge understatement, but seeing the hopeful, kind faces of her closest friends gave her faith a bit more strength to keep moving. </p><p> </p><p>"Ready, Laz?"</p><p> </p><p>"Ready" </p><p> </p><p>"At the count of three, guys" Peridot commanded "One" </p><p> </p><p>"Two" Bismuth continued </p><p> </p><p>"Three" Lapis said and the trio turned on the lantern and pushed it up, watching how the air directed its path. To where their light was, to where Steven was. </p><p> </p><p>"Good job, Laz. Great work, everybody. Now, all we need to do is have faith for him to find it" Bismuth placed both her hands on her friends' shoulders. Lapis nodded without looking at the blacksmith's face, though she knew the gem was right. It was time not to fall in despair, but to have faith. To trust. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Bismuth: A builder falling apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When she still thought that Rose Quartz was honest and cared about the lesser gems, the ones who didn't know what it was to be free or independent, Bismuth had a lot of dreams. Many of them were wild and crazy if you were a Homeworld gem, but when Rose heard about them, her eyes shone with excitement and smiled big. That was the sign that Bismuth's <em>Bismuth </em>was going to be extraordinary.</p><p> </p><p>But to make it real, sacrifices were required and so, the Crystal Gems, Bismuth's new family, went to that list by sacrificing their lives for the future they deserved. So many friends shattered, so many tears shed, the tragedies multiplied as much as the victories. Bismuth was adamant to fulfill her dreams not only because she wanted to, but also because failing would be the same as insulting the bravery of her fallen comrades. She was sure Rose would support her.</p><p> </p><p>But then the Breaking Point was shown to Rose and everything went downhill.</p><p> </p><p>'Shattering was wrong no matter the reasons' she said, 'The Crystal Gems aren't like the Diamonds' she said.</p><p> </p><p>Bismuth couldn't believe it nor comprehend it. Here she was, with the solution to win the war and rid of the upper crusts and the tyranny of Homeworld and Rose refused because shattering was wrong?! It's not that Bismuth wasn't aware of the wrongness of destroying a gem. She had seen many of her own kin being shattered for the stupidest of reasons, or any other lesser gem who was defective or too rebellious to deal with; however, they weren't in a charity mission. This was war, and in a war you needed, no, MUST dirty your own hands if you wanted to become a winner and not gravel to spit to.</p><p> </p><p>But like her, Rose was determined and stubborn, and in just minutes, everything Bismuth had been fighting for ended up in shambles: her Breaking Point was left in the forge, she was bubbled and hidden, her plans completely ruined. All of them except one: shattering the Diamonds. It was funny and tragic in the way someone wasn't sure what to do, laugh or cry. Rose refused to accept her idea to shatter their enemy, but still stole that same idea and twisted it for her own gain.</p><p> </p><p>Well, Bismuth should've known that was going to happen coming from a lying, self-entitled upper crust, because they loved to take all the credit for themselves, while the rest of the gems worked endlessly and were denied to enjoy the fruits of their job. That was the rotten <em>Bismuth</em> <strike>Rose</strike> Pink Diamond did when she ordered Pearl to help her in faking her shattering.</p><p> </p><p>A cold and vicious sensation consumed her immaterial guts.</p><p> </p><p>It was like every part of them, all that they had done, the efforts and sacrifices Bismuth put on her dreams and ideas didn't belong to any of the Crystal Gems nor her, but to Pink Diamond.</p><p> </p><p>They never truly rebelled because they were still working for a Diamond, Bismuth was still obeying a Diamond. One in disguise, of course, but the 'following orders' part was there. She felt like the foundation of her future was never hers from the beginning for Pink's shadow always loomed over her form. And maybe that's how Steven felt all this time until the cactus incident and his sudden disappearance happened.</p><p> </p><p>To think she had thought he was Rose, trying to get away from the consequences of her actions again by lying, made her ill to her very core. If it weren't for Steven she wouldn't be here with many of her friends: Snowflake, Biggs, Crazy Lace, living the life they deserved but much richer than everything they had ever imagined. Little Homeworld and Little Homeschool were such wild and amazing plans, watching humans and gems coexisting in peace, interacting as if they were friends for millennia. Steven gave them hope to build all of this, to make it true and enjoy it.</p><p> </p><p>But him? What did he have?</p><p> </p><p>Now that she thought about it, every time he accomplished something incredible, it wasn't for his own gain but for others' sake.</p><p> </p><p>Reaching for peace between Earth and Homeworld? That was to protect his loved ones and his home. Healing the corrupted gems? It was to give a closure for the ones who participated in the war whether they were Crystal Gems or enemies. Having meeting after meeting with the Diamonds? It’s not that he had an option, right? Those giant tyrants were too fixed on Pink to give Steven a bit of space and he was too determined to let them fall into their old, violent habits.</p><p> </p><p>So he had to give up. Not in the sense of surrendering, of course, but give up any chances of having something for himself. She didn’t know Steven as well as Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, or even Greg, but after hearing all that he had done and how proud they were for him, it became disturbingly clear for Bismuth that Steven didn’t have a dream that he could put the term ‘my’ because, again, those dreams were based on Pink’s influence.</p><p> </p><p>His powers, being like <strike>Rose</strike> Pink, not being like her, fixing her mistakes. Geez, if she had been Steven, she would have snapped already. How could he handle the pressure and the fact that almost every victory in his life was just to honor someone who never deserved it while being left with nothing?</p><p> </p><p>No wonder he ran away. He must have felt sick of even hearing <strike>Rose’s</strike> Pink’s name, and after what Pearl told her of his ‘pink outburst’ –since when he could do that? - when Volleyball explained that her cracked eye was Pink’s doing –of course, typical of upper crusts, they can’t control themselves! - it was pretty obvious Steven just wanted to be very far away from that mess.</p><p> </p><p>And he had thought that finally he could live a peaceful life, no more screwup-cleaning, no more facing someone’s crimes, just him, his family and his happily ever after. Bismuth was also excited about that, to have a moment of peace and joy, to share it with him.</p><p> </p><p>But then, Spinel came to Earth for revenge.</p><p> </p><p>And guess who the one responsible was for that thirst of revenge and for ruining Steven’s retirement day.</p><p> </p><p>Pink.</p><p> </p><p>And who had to clean a new mess again?</p><p> </p><p>Steven.</p><p> </p><p>So, yeah, too much for a suffocating petty Pink. Too little for a kind, merciful Steven.</p><p> </p><p>Stars, maybe Bismuth was projecting too much of her feelings onto Steven’s issues, wasn’t she? But, nonetheless, she could understand why he left, or just the parts that her hunches were signaling.</p><p> </p><p>But there was also the enormous ‘IT’S NOT FAIR’ red signal in her head that wanted for Steven to come back. Not that she was mad at him or anything. Steven may have ran away, though it wasn’t cowardice the cause, but utter despair and pain. Two things she knew darkly well because of the war and experiences someone like Steven didn’t deserve in his life.</p><p> </p><p>If she could find him. If Bismuth could somehow talk with him via telepathy or dreams, she would tell him that it would be ok even if it didn’t look like it.</p><p> </p><p>So, what if his life was based on acting or not acting like Pink? What if he gave up too many things for others and didn’t have aspirations for himself? What if Pink’s shadow completely suffocated him and stole from him his peace and time for the things he liked?</p><p> </p><p>That didn’t mean he couldn’t built himself and his life on a foundation of his own liking. That didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to determine how his path might be even if the others wouldn’t understand. That didn’t mean he should let her mother’s legacy consume him even if he was part of that legacy.</p><p> </p><p>Steven was a Crystal Gem and much better than anyone. He could fight with both powers and words. He could be strong with fierceness and compassion. But most importantly, he was his and therefore he could choose. He could be whole again.</p><p> </p><p>However, he didn’t know it or maybe he stopped believing that was possible for him. Well, that little <em>Bismuth</em> wouldn’t be a problem for too long.</p><p> </p><p>She –as the others- wasn’t sure where Steven could be, but if the chance of a clue about his whereabouts came to her, Bismuth would take it and gave him hope the same way he did for her. Because even different, even one being a hybrid and the other a gem, she knew how it felt to fall apart.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Andy Demayo: Changes passing, essence unmoving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Life is a roller coaster of changes. </p><p> </p><p>The weather changes: one day it's all sunny then the next day you are drenched because of the rain.</p><p> </p><p>Society changes too. The once venerated politicians become a thing of the past people want to remember or forget and new candidates prepare themselves to compete in elections.</p><p> </p><p>The whole Earth changes. Millions of years ago, dinosaurs inhabited every piece of land as if their reign was eternal, then, a moment later, a rain of asteroids kicked them out of their throne and humanity came, taking their place.</p><p> </p><p>Many things change. Fashion, religion, family structure, romantic relationships, educational system, technology, medicine. Andy could never stop listing how many other aspects change. However, there is one thing that is invulnerable to that: essence.</p><p> </p><p>No matter how much time might pass, rocks are still rocks in any corner of the world. Big, small, of any shape and color, in mountains, hills, in the deepness of the ocean or in a desert, they're still rocks.</p><p> </p><p>The same can be applied to trees. They can be tall, short, with or without fruits, with too few or too many leaves, and they would still be trees.</p><p> </p><p>Animals too. The lion is still the king of beasts, a predator whether he lives in a zoo, a circus, a refuge or a cave. The sun and the moon can still shine in their own time even if one eclipses the other. The stars are still in the sky even if there is rain or hail.</p><p> </p><p>Change could come and go whenever it wanted, but the essence was immovable. It was eternal. Sure you could change your way of seeing things, or acting towards others, you could be the bad guy today and become good the next one, or inverted. Still, you were you.</p><p> </p><p>But not everyone feels comfortable by being oneself. Not everyone sees the true worth in their essence, and by that he meant Steven.</p><p> </p><p>To think one moment he was that happy-go-lucky child who wanted everyone to get along no matter if they were gems or humans and now he was gone. Disappearing with his car with an unknown fate ahead of him. It sounded surrealistic.</p><p> </p><p>Surrealistic and absurd. Steven had everything with him and he was so loved by everyone so why leave?</p><p> </p><p>Then he remembered that Greg told him: <em>'The Gems listened to some things he planned to say just to himself, Andy. Pretty worrying things. Like he needed to be needed, everyone stopped needing him as if he saw himself as a tool and he also thought some ugly things about the Gems and kept them in secret. Now we don't know where the hell he is!'</em></p><p> </p><p>The explanation was certainly disturbing but confusing at the same time which made Andy wish he had met Steven and watched him grow up to see if what Greg has told him was true.</p><p> </p><p>But after listening to him one more time, more calmed and composed, the gears of his mind started working and the pieces of the puzzle regrouped into a clearer image. A clearer and very concerning image of Steven's future.</p><p> </p><p>The first time he met Steven, he thought he was a naive and sweet kid, too kind for his own good whenever he talked to people, and yeah, that part was true. Years later, he was still being a social butterfly, always willing to help.</p><p> </p><p>Always. Willing. To help.</p><p> </p><p>If there is something he has learned is that it's impossible to live with the term 'always' applied to every aspect of your life. Because you can't always have every answer, you can't always solve every problem, you can't always be there for others, you can't always make people happy.  </p><p> </p><p>You can't always be everyone's messiah.</p><p> </p><p>You might explode if you try to, that's why balancing 'always', 'never' and 'sometimes' is the healthier way to live.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, no one taught Steven that motto. Or cared to do it.</p><p> </p><p>He wishes he was there to teach him that, though. Maybe this mess would have never happened if someone had put more effort into telling Steven to take things easy instead of waiting for people to need him or put a lot of pressure on his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>And now he's gone.</p><p> </p><p>He's gone because he felt useless. Gone because he felt lost.</p><p> </p><p>Steven's gone because he felt like an obsolete thing while the people around him are changing, upgrading and enjoying better things.</p><p> </p><p>He got that sentiment.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>'Why'd you leave?' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>'I'm the only one who didn't! It was your goofball father who was the first one to hightail it out of here. Then after him, it was Aunt Deb. She and her partner got the RV. No reason to stick around with that thing! Grandpa moved to the keys, too old to make the drive anymore. I was the only one who tried to keep everything how it used to be. I knew what it meant to really be a family. And look what that got me, huh?! Nothin'! It just doesn't feel fair, everything got so different. I wanted everybody to stay the same, but they- they just didn't. Geez. What am I even doing? I got an airplane. I could've been visiting everybody, everywhere they went. I could have known about you. I guess I could have just changed too, you know?'</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>'It's not too late. We're here. If you want us to be.' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He wished he could tell Steven the same things he told him when Andy felt so frustrated and lost with himself.</p><p> </p><p>Back then, it was him and Greg and Grandpa, and the others of the family. But then Greg felt like life had better things for him and wanted that, so he left to pursue his musical career despite his father's protests. After that, the world went downhill for Andy. Moving on and going to other places became the 'new trending', and while the rest of the family was happy with that, he couldn't accept it.</p><p> </p><p>He became old-fashioned and obviously when something gets antiquated, it is forgotten. But the problem didn’t come from him being forgotten because of his traditional ways, it came from the fact that he didn't make space for the new times to accommodate in his life. He was so caught up trying to keep the family together that his old-fashioned ideas blinded him. He could have balanced traditionality and change, but just stayed in the same spot thinking the others went insane when the crazy one was him. Thankfully, Steven encouraged him to reconnect with Greg and be more open-minded with change without losing himself in it.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe that's what the kid needed all this time: someone to help him live through the multiple changes and cheer him up to be himself whether people need him or not.</p><p> </p><p>Besides, why being needed when you are so loved and estimated by everyone?</p><p> </p><p>That's another thing that Steven hasn't figured out or had trouble figuring out: he didn't need to be needed. If he has a family and friends that love him for who he is, it is because they truly feel that way, not because they have some ulterior motive to want Steven around.</p><p> </p><p>If things were like that, then there would be no family and no friends, just people riding on his coattails to get what they want.</p><p> </p><p>That's not the kind of people he has been having around. That's not the kind of change Steven wanted around him.</p><p> </p><p>Or that was what Andy hoped.</p><p> </p><p>No, wait! He was jumping into conclusions, the kid's family wasn't like that, it was just that Steven couldn't handle change in a good way.</p><p> </p><p>And obviously, he was desperate to change alongside the others but it was like he was stuck in quicksand while the rest of the world could get itself out of that bad place and keep moving.</p><p> </p><p>He wondered if Steven was mad at the others because they were leaving him while he tried to keep things static, unchangeable. </p><p> </p><p>Andy shook his head, no no, that was him back then not Steven. Maybe the boy was mad at himself because he couldn't advance like his friends or his family and came to the conclusion that he wasn't necessary anymore.</p><p> </p><p>If he couldn't change and became obsolete then it was better to go to the trunk of memories and stay there.</p><p> </p><p>It was really worrying. Now he got why Greg was so desperate to find him.</p><p> </p><p>But the question was what would they do once they found Steven?</p><p> </p><p>The boy has stopped seeing his self-worth as something beneficial for everyone, he might have believed himself as unfitting for change and therefore unworthy to try, so even if they talked with Steven he would push them away as if that would make everyone a favor.</p><p> </p><p>They needed a wise approach to get through the kid.</p><p> </p><p>Shit, he didn’t have a single idea of what to say when the moment came. </p><p> </p><p>Any word, any good intention could be interpreted in the wrong way. </p><p> </p><p>Steven might think he was being a burden on his family, that everyone was wasting their time on him, that it was better to hide much farther away than before. </p><p> </p><p>No, stop that nonsense! This wasn't the time for worst-case scenarios, this was the time for action! </p><p> </p><p>On the road, he would think what might be the best approach to give Steven some well-deserved encouragement, but now finding him was the priority. </p><p> </p><p>He hoped it didn't take that long, though. Teenagers who ran away from their homes didn't have it as easy, neither the ones who are kicked out. </p><p> </p><p>Geeez, it was so hard to believe that the roles have changed. Here he was, Andy Demayo, someone who Steven helped with kindness and empathy, looking for the same boy who gave him a bit of hope to embrace change. </p><p> </p><p>Well, it was time for him to return the favor. </p><p> </p><p>And he'd do it like Steven. With his whole heart open to listen and comfort. </p><p> </p><p>The kid deserved it, after all. </p><p> </p><p>He deserved to take a break and not focusing on if he is changing enough for everyone or not, to live life carefree and do stupid things like all teenagers without caring about the consequences, to believe his future is much more than being a self-sacrificing messiah. </p><p> </p><p>He deserved to know that even if millennia passed in front of his eyes, Steven would always be loved for being himself. </p><p> </p><p>Because that's how you let change enter your life without losing yourself. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Larimar, Snowflake, and Centi: Can someone understand me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Corruption.</p><p> </p><p>For many people, it means the process by which something, typically a word or expression, is changed from its original use or meaning to one that is regarded as erroneous or debased.</p><p> </p><p>However, for the gems like Little Larimar, Snowflake, Centi and many others who suffered by the hands of the Diamonds that fateful day during the war, it meant two words: pain and confusion.</p><p> </p><p>Ok, so that's an understatement because unless you're a gem, you can't get how it felt. Many things confused and/or upset people no matter how insignificant they were after all.</p><p> </p><p>But the Corruption Attack, being corrupted, THAT was a whole, another story.</p><p> </p><p>There were no words to describe it and, honestly, it's not that the healed gems were going to write an essay about what was the most traumatic moment of their quasi-immortal lives. Still, if someone asked them, they would have the same idea: it was like being swallowed by a hell made of confusion and pain.</p><p> </p><p>Not that gems knew what hell was, but that explanation was enough for them to illustrate their trauma. After all, when your light form is twisted by a blinding blast and your mind wakes up with the sole programming of attacking and tearing everything apart as if you were going to die if you didn't do it, then it's understandable that the only concept of being corrupted is that one: being messed up endlessly. </p><p> </p><p>No one was there to help you, no one was there to calm you down, there was no escape. Your body didn't felt like it was yours anymore, it was more from a beast.</p><p> </p><p>The worst part was the mind.</p><p> </p><p>Before the Corruption, a gem knew what to do and whom to follow. A gem knew who she was. After it happened, nothing made sense anymore.</p><p> </p><p>It was an agglomeration of scrambled words, feelings, memories, and sensations that forced themselves to fit with the other creating a chaotic image, the only guide when you were corrupted.</p><p> </p><p>A gem tried to make sense of it, but the mind of a beast had its limits and that's when the pain came to the picture.</p><p> </p><p>It was a void where the word 'Lost' reigned ruthlessly. The corrupted ones could resort to their claws and fangs, to their strength and agility, to that animalistic nature that had replaced their calculating minds; however, it didn't last against others who were luckier than them for not being corrupted and for having better plans to deal with the unfortunate ones. </p><p> </p><p>Too many aspects that were new for the gems when they came to Earth, before the Corruption, became utterly terrifying and overwhelming. They couldn't remember, and the feelings of helplessness and frustration hurt them more, made them snap and get attacked and bubbled which was worse. </p><p> </p><p>Just with a single attack, any spark of hope left them. </p><p> </p><p>But then, Steven came to the picture too. </p><p> </p><p>The kid who, for the corrupted ones, was just another enemy or prey of their claws, and still he decided to face the fearsome Diamonds so they could be healed. </p><p> </p><p>That sweet little human with gem powers who was looking for a solution so they could get back their lives and not suffer anymore.</p><p> </p><p>It was because of him that they could live peacefully, and while some of them went back to Homeworld and slowly adjusted to the changes of a dismantled empire, the others -Crystal Gems and gems who wanted to start a new life on Earth- stayed on the planet to learn new things. Still, all of them had one thing in common: their absolute gratitude and respect towards Steven Universe. </p><p> </p><p>And therefore, it was a huge and terrible surprise for Centi to be told that her little friend, her savior, had disappeared with his car to an unknown place. </p><p> </p><p>It was supposed to be a surprise visit and some time hanging out with Steven, catching up and know if things were ok with him on Earth. However, when she and her crew received the news about his sudden departure, they couldn't believe it. </p><p> </p><p>At first, Centi thought it was just a short journey Steven had to realize for some errand or another reason, her denial being strong enough to put her worst fears aside concerning the boy's well-being. </p><p> </p><p>Everything collapsed, though, after a very somber explanation. </p><p> </p><p>Steven wasn't doing ok. In fact, both the Crystal Gems and his 'dad' - as the human called Greg referred to himself- had noticed, pretty late, unfortunately, some unhealthy and worrying patterns of behavior in Steven that got worse until the last straw came, the cactus incident. </p><p> </p><p>Centi's mind was divided in two. On one hand, she wanted to blame her former enemies due to their incompetence that led Steven to ran away from Beach City to stars-knows-where. The glares and open hostility on her part towards the Crystal Gems were very clear signals of that. On the other hand, she felt compelled to act, although impulsively, almost going to Homeworld to call the Diamonds to find Steven. </p><p> </p><p>One of the Crystal Gems, the Pearl, stopped her by telling her that the Diamonds would cause a big scandal because not all Earth had getting used to see and interact with gems. And if Steven found out, he would freak out. </p><p> </p><p>So, now she was in the center of Little Homeworld, accompanied not only by her crew but also two former Crystal Gems: a Larimar and a Snowflake Obsidian. </p><p> </p><p>Before all this mess, she wouldn't imagine interacting with former enemies. However, the war was over, all the corrupted gems were healed and living their own lives, and bringing Steven back was the goal in common for her, her crew and those Crystal Gems. </p><p> </p><p>What was most surprising, though, was how understanding they were at her worries despite her initial distrust at them. </p><p> </p><p>"You know, when I was a mindless monster I thought deep down that I would never get back my life. But Steven gave me another chance and here I am, now. And yeah, Pearl and the other Crystal Gems are my friends and I don't like it when someone is mad at them, but I get it. Steven is truly important for all of us. If it weren't for him, we would still be monsters" </p><p> </p><p>The Larimar, Little Larimar as she called herself, nodded at her friend's words "Steven helped me to find my purpose. And that is making others happy, especially human children. I don't know what kind of purpose do you have because the gempire is over, but whatever it is, it must be really treasured by you because Steven gave you a chance to find it. Someone like him is so difficult to find these days and a big blessing"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, he is" Centi agreed and even her crew members nodded at that "At first he attacked me because he saw me as a threat. But, the second time we met, he was so kind to me. He listened to me when I told him what happened before the Corruption"</p><p> </p><p>"He even faced the Diamonds to bring us back" a nephrite of the crew intervened sadly. </p><p> </p><p>"He might be a Crystal Gem, but he sees all the gems as equals and helps them no matter what", another nephrite said while clutching her left arm anxiously. </p><p> </p><p>"Everyone here is in debt with Steven, and even if he would have never accepted us owing him so much because of how he is, we still need to do it. We have to" </p><p> </p><p>And so, they started their own search. </p><p> </p><p>---------------------</p><p> </p><p>If someone had told Larimar and Snowflake that looking for a human on a planet full of humans was going to be difficult or almost impossible, they would have ignored them.</p><p> </p><p>As veteran Crystal Gems, both only knew one thing, and that was that action and determination could lead you anywhere. Whether it was war or any other project, if you don't have the guts to make it true, then it's useless to keep going. However, as days went by, the two gems came to the conclusion that just a strong resolve wasn't enough to find someone. </p><p> </p><p>No clues, no handprints not even a single note. Steven really wanted to not be found. </p><p> </p><p>"What kind of places should we list to start?" asked Centi to one of them, Larimar to be exact. </p><p> </p><p>As surreal as it sounded, despite the bad blood between Crystal Gems and Homeworld Gems, both Snowflake and Larimar could befriend Centi and her crew while looking for Steven.</p><p> </p><p>So, maybe it was because all of them were corrupted and saved by him, because they cared about him, because Steven befriended them and helped them to adjust to a new era. Maybe those were the only reasons to make a team with former enemies. However, with time they started to bond over other things like what they liked, how they were finding themselves without wars or Diamonds' orders around, their opinions about Era 3, trivialities. Anything that crossed their minds.</p><p> </p><p>Just like that, differences stopped existing between each other, and yeah, at first they wondered why but then it became obvious: there were others whose experiences you could relate to, even if they were Homeworld Gems.</p><p> </p><p>That single realization gave Larimar an idea "Guys, did anyone know how Steven was doing?" that question froze everyone's work. Seconds of silence turned into minutes due to a deep reflection. </p><p> </p><p>"He wouldn't have left if someone knew he wasn't ok, wouldn't he?" a Nephrite said, but she didn't sound that sure. </p><p> </p><p>"I think this isn't about if someone knew how Steven was doing, it was more about if they could understand how he felt" Snowflake's opinion got everyone nodding. It made sense, after what they had heard of how Steven was behaving, it felt as if he was isolating himself because there was no one who could comprehend what he was going through. </p><p> </p><p>"I still remembered when I corrupted," Centi said somberly "I felt so lost and alone. Even with my crew at my side, I didn't know if this torment would end. Steven still tried and listened to me. I didn't feel so lonely after that" </p><p> </p><p>"Did he have someone to do the same for him?" another member of Centi's crew asked concerned. </p><p> </p><p>A heavy silence made itself present as the answer. </p><p> </p><p>It was worrying as much as it was tragic. </p><p> </p><p>How long would have Steven gone through that? Giving his ears and shoulders to anyone who needed them but finding a lack of support despite the love everyone gave him. </p><p> </p><p>Then another more confusing question came, is love enough to prevent events like this from happening? But if it were so simple as that, Steven would still be here and ok. </p><p> </p><p>"What if Steven is looking for someone like him?" Larimar's question was strange and their raised eyebrows demanded an explanation. </p><p> </p><p>"We can understand each other because we know how terrifying it was the Corruption Attack or be corrupted. He may be feeling scared for some reason but no one can see it in his way" </p><p> </p><p>"A human with gem powers, that is unique indeed" Snowflake pensive expression then turned into a scowl "I don't think his sudden journey is going to be successful. Never before has been someone like Steven. A mix of human and gem. Garnet told me it was like fusion" </p><p> </p><p>"Instead of searching another hybrid between human and gem, he might be looking for people who have enough ears and shoulders that he can rely on" </p><p> </p><p>"We can give him that" a Nephrite intervened by showing her shapeshifting abilities to multiply her shoulders "There will be enough and even more for him to pick" </p><p> </p><p>"I think it goes beyond the number" Larimar sat in a rock in the middle of the huge Strawberry Battlefield. </p><p> </p><p>Even when the war was over, the air still felt heavy and bitter in the area. The screams, the clash of weapons, pieces of cracked and shattered gems covering the ground, the sky the color of blood. </p><p> </p><p>Larimar hoped, really hoped, that Steven wasn't here hiding because this place, despite being calm and beautiful now, only harbored dark memories and feelings. </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps that's how Steven was doing right now. Trying to keep a bravado or smile to everyone, even if inside of him there was a raged storm. </p><p> </p><p>And no one better than him could get that sensation, but Steven didn’t want himself to understand him, he wanted another person. </p><p> </p><p>"Larimar, something on your mind?" Snowflake put a comforting hand on her shoulder, encouraging her kindly to tell her what's wrong. </p><p> </p><p>"Is it enough for someone to just have themselves?" </p><p> </p><p>That was a very philosophical question. And no, Snowflake didn't know what to answer. </p><p> </p><p>"Care to elaborate?" </p><p> </p><p>"I mean, when we were corrupted we were scared, hurt and confused. We didn't have anyone, we couldn't remember who we were. If it weren't for Steven it would have been worse. So, how can someone be understood or feel like they're being listened if having themselves isn't even enough?"</p><p> </p><p>"Honestly, I don't know. But we had the chance to be listened, to be helped. Steven gave us that chance" </p><p> </p><p>"It's time for us to return the favor" Centi, who hadn't been that far away from the two gems, approached them after hearing what they were saying. </p><p> </p><p>"We'll listen to him as long as he wants," another Nephrite said, determinedly. </p><p> </p><p>"We can be those shoulders he lacked" </p><p> </p><p>"Because we know how it feels to be lost and terrified" </p><p> </p><p>"We'll try as hard as possible. He deserves it. He needs it" </p><p> </p><p>Resolution ran through their bodies as if it were blood coursing through veins. Whether Steven was finding someone else to understand him or finding himself, once they found his savior, they will help him by being by his side. </p><p> </p><p>That single step wouldn't be enough but it would be the way to make Steven see that people got his back. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Connie: Two seagulls on the shore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title was inspired by the song Two birds on a wire of Regina Spektor.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To be honest, Connie didn't know what she was expecting when she decided to give Steven and the Crystal Gems a visit.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe a new adventure, shenanigans coming from Little Homeworld, new gem students getting their schedules, anything. However, what she didn't want to expect and got, in the end, was the shocking news that Steven had disappeared in the night with his car, going somewhere else.</p><p> </p><p>Her mind was in the blank after that.</p><p> </p><p>Her first thoughts were that maybe there was a fight between him and his family that led to this. Her suspicions turned to be half-right and half-wrong. There had been a fight, but it was against a plant-like creation of Steven. A CactusSteven who repeated his words.</p><p> </p><p>He had told Connie once, years ago, how he gave life to some watermelons who resembled his appearance. It just took a bit of his spit and some seeds to make it true. The difference between Steven Watermelons and CactusSteven was that the first ones were kind and peaceful as long as you didn't provoke them, but the second one, despite being cute from the start, became a horrible monster.</p><p> </p><p>A monster who repeated words filled with anxiety, fear, anger, and bitterness. And all those feelings came from Steven.</p><p> </p><p>The phrases Connie was informed about were even more concerning: he felt like his life wasn't anything if he wasn't useful as if everyone was growing up without him, getting better, being better, having a great time while he struggled without control. The Gems were also targets of those issues. Pearl deemed to be emotionally fragile which made Steven pick up the pieces, Amethyst not getting how he felt because she was so mature, Garnet's advice being useless with his problems.</p><p> </p><p>It went over and over again in a vicious cycle of sadness.</p><p> </p><p>Why didn't Steven say anything?</p><p> </p><p>A part inside Connie told her that it was typical of him to not bother anyone with his feelings -whether he needed help or not; the other part of her, though, wanted to smack him in the head.</p><p> </p><p>This kind of rage was pretty familiar in a nasty way. It was the same rage she felt when he turned himself to Aquamarine and Topaz to save them. The anger born from pain and helplessness. </p><p> </p><p>At least this time nor Aquamarine or Topaz or any other gem were trying to kidnap people but... </p><p> </p><p>No! This was much worse! </p><p> </p><p>The bitter familiarity of Steven's issues brought her back to those times when Connie was young and naive, being Pearl's apprentice, training nonstop to protect Steven. </p><p> </p><p>All for him. </p><p> </p><p>Always for him.</p><p> </p><p>DO IT FOR HIM. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>'Remember, Connie. In the heat of battle, Steven is the only thing that matters. You. Don't. Matter' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>'I. Don't. Matter' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Did Steven was thinking that way about himself? It may be a possibility. One that her mind played treacherously. </p><p> </p><p>Steven hearing a mind projection of himself telling him the same things that Pearl put in her brain so Connie could be a 'perfect knight'. </p><p> </p><p><em>'Remember, Steven. Every whim, every wish they want to make true you MUST fulfill. That's the only thing that matters. </em> <em>You. Don't. Matter' </em></p><p>
  <em>'I. Don't. Matter' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Connie shivered. The sole idea of Steven acting as a servant or a tool was too disturbing for her to find a solution for. Now the question was, what would be the solution to this mess? </p><p> </p><p>Obviously, first of all, she needed to find Steven and talk to him, so asking Lion for a portal-roar ride was step number one. </p><p> </p><p>"Lion, let's go. We need to find Steven" </p><p> </p><p>Much to her surprise and confusion, the magical, pink beast didn't move an inch. He just yawned as if Steven's disappearance wasn't a big deal. </p><p> </p><p>"Lion, this isn't the time for naps! We NEED to find Steven! He could be hurt or something!" </p><p> </p><p>The same reaction, a big yawn, and even Lion stretched to relax and continue sleeping. </p><p> </p><p>She could feel one of her eyes twitching. What the hell was wrong with Lion that day to be this disobedient? Didn't he care about Steven? Had Lion given up on him? There should be a reason for this behavior. </p><p> </p><p>So, Lion is Steven’s magical pet, but he can do his own thing whether he listened to Steven or her. And Steven was gone and must be found, though Lion wasn't cooperating at all. The question is why. </p><p> </p><p>"You won’t help me find Steven not because you don't want to but because you feel it is not the right time to find him, right?" </p><p> </p><p>The big cat purred and Connie took it as a yes. </p><p> </p><p>"Did Steven tell you when would be the time?" </p><p> </p><p>Lion grumbled a bit. That was no. </p><p> </p><p>So, it meant that Lion was using his intuition to know when they could finally start looking for Steven. </p><p> </p><p>Connie kneeled in front of the magical beast and pet him. She thought she had a better connection with Lion whenever she needed him, but this reaction surprised her. It seemed he was more perceptive and thoughtful than she thought. </p><p> </p><p>However, was Lion protecting Steven because of the intuition of something bad happening to the boy if they found him? Or because she was deemed as not ready to deal with Steven?</p><p> </p><p>Whatever it was, it didn't help with her anxiety at all. </p><p> </p><p>------------------------</p><p> </p><p>It was the first time she decided to do this and even her mental representation of Steven would have been against the idea, but she didn't give a crap about her studies when someone she deeply cared about was missing and possibly hurting. </p><p> </p><p>Reflection, despite taking most of her time, was the best way for Connie to piece everything together and find out the reasons of Steven’s departure. </p><p> </p><p>According to the Gems, Steven had quit his job of running Little Homeschool and while the teenager could understand that taking a break was important, there was a sense of off-ness in Steven when he began gardening. </p><p> </p><p>That activity at first seemed like a good hobby in their eyes, but the boy's guardians then saw how it was turning a bit unhealthy when Steven began talking with his plants and flower as if they were humans. His human friends. Saddie, Lars, the Cool Kids, even Connie. Saying things like it was good to have them back and they wouldn't leave him. Never leave him. No wonder Garnet said it was unhealthy. </p><p> </p><p>Later, things went worse when CactusSteven was born. Pearl told her that it was cute and could even talk, repeating Steven’s words. The Gems were happy about that accomplishment until CactusSteven spit out harsh truths. How Steven felt so lost now that no one needs him, how he couldn't change while others grew up more and more, feeling left behind, stuck without something to fix or someone to save. </p><p> </p><p>Nothing for him to do to show that he was useful and worth keeping around. </p><p> </p><p>Some bitter memories from the past came to her mind while analyzing this, memories from before she met Steven. </p><p> </p><p>Going to school wasn’t as difficult for her because of the studies, Connie was pretty smart after all; however, what she couldn't get was why she couldn't make friends. It was more than moving from a place to another due to her father's job, there was something missing that she couldn't grasp to have a lasting friendship. </p><p> </p><p>She remembered that some months before traveling again and going to the beach that fateful day, Connie had met a girl from her same classes, Samantha. </p><p> </p><p>She was cheerful and exuberant, both had such a good time and helped each other with homework. Though Connie always did more of the work than Samantha, she hadn't minded. Then, when it was time to move again, Samantha said that it would be ok. There were phones, the Internet, it would take time but they'd keep in contact. Connie was hopeful and happy. Yeah, it would work! </p><p> </p><p>Now that she remembered the end of that story, Connie questioned herself like how many Pinks and how many Spinels there are in the world, because days and weeks passed and Samantha never calledn. Never sent a message, never responded to her messages, and even when Connie called her once, the number was deemed as nonexistent. </p><p> </p><p>What went wrong? Did she have an accident or something? Was she too busy that the promise was forgotten? </p><p> </p><p>During a day, while searching some topic on Google for a project, Connie accidentally made click to a Facebook advertisement and when she was going to get out, she saw Samantha's picture beneath the advertisement. It was a photo of her and other kids their age. She looked happy and having fun like always, which was strange for Connie. Curiosity got the best of her and with a single click, she could enter Samantha's Facebook profile wondering how a kid could be let to do something like that. Shouldn't there be an age restriction or something?</p><p> </p><p>Whatever. That didn't matter.</p><p> </p><p>Connie clicked to the personal data, Samantha's new phone was displayed on the screen of the computer. She thought that maybe, just maybe, talking with her again would be a good idea. Finding out why her friend didn't contact her, catching up. So she memorized the number and grabbed the not-umbilical phone. Two rings later, Samantha's voice was heard. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Who?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"H-Hey, Sam. It's me, Connie. Missed me?" she said a bit hopeful and nervous. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"<strong>Ahhh, it's you"</strong> Connie's mind froze at the <strong>annoyance and boredom</strong> coming out from her friend's mouth. "<strong>What do you want? I'm busy"</strong></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Then she heard something breaking, but no plate, glass, or object of porcelain in the house had fallen from its place. Suddenly and without notice, Connie hung up and went back to her room while tears streamed her face. </p><p> </p><p>Later that night, a bit before sleeping, she went again to Samantha's Facebook profile while wondering why. Whether it was to find an answer after the treatment she received or to give her former friend a piece of her mind via inbox, Connie wasn't so sure until she entered the section of photos. </p><p> </p><p>The answer came after some time of thinking. </p><p> </p><p>What all the pictures of Samantha had in common wasn't only that she was there, but also that the girl was surrounded by kids who looked meek, shy, kind of bookish and nerdy. Not that Connie was the one to stereotype others anyway. And then, with all that information and reminiscing her time with her former friend, Connie came to a very bitter conclusion: Samantha never wanted a friend, was never looking for one, just some brainiac to use to get good grades without moving a finger! </p><p> </p><p>How could she let that moron played with her?! </p><p> </p><p>That day she stopped making efforts to befriend others despite her desire to get to know other kids. </p><p> </p><p>Though, every time she wanted to get close she questioned herself: what if he/she/they are like Samantha? What if they don't like me? What if I get hurt again? However, Steven saved her from that hole. </p><p> </p><p>Steven who took care of her neon bracelet so he could give it back to her, even if it was in his weird/adventurous way. </p><p> </p><p>Steven who liked her for who she was despite her flaws, her family issues, her fears, and anything else. </p><p> </p><p>Steven who never labeled her as a tool and treasured her dearly. </p><p> </p><p>Steven who always thought about her and cared deeply for her. </p><p> </p><p>Her whole Universe. </p><p> </p><p>And she was his whole universe too. Two birds flying together. Or that's what she imagined it could happen till now. </p><p> </p><p>And yeah, they would go to different places, meet different kinds of people, experience so many things, figure out themselves and what they wanted to do... Until the moment came to reunite again and live their lives together, happily remembering the good and learning from the bad, having their friends and families with them, celebrating a new page of their lives. </p><p> </p><p>But was that what fate had stored for them or what Connie naively portrayed for her and Steven’s future? </p><p> </p><p>Did she think for a second that it would be that simple and fanciful? </p><p> </p><p>Of course not! She knew very well that the path would be long and sometimes hard, confusing even. Though, at this moment, Connie wondered if that is what her narrow-minded imagination had conjured and not what the big picture showed. </p><p> </p><p>Another question came to her mind then. How did the big picture look like for Steven? Did it have a future with love and achievements in his hands? Or was it still something he needed to figure out? </p><p> </p><p>However, if Steven really wanted that, then he could have told the others about him leaving instead of doing it without no one noticing. </p><p> </p><p>This picture was bigger and messier than just trying to find your place in the world. Steven had been struggling silently, his mind planning to take another path like many of his friends did as if his future was waiting for him somewhere else. </p><p> </p><p>No, not his future. His purpose. Because that's equivalent to his future, to what he believed everyone wanted for him, and if there is no purpose in Beach City or Little Homeworld anymore, then what's the point in staying? </p><p> </p><p>With all of this happening and no idea of what to do, Connie had a new perspective about growing up. </p><p> </p><p>Before meeting Steven, it was all about her studies, making her parents proud, being lonely, and not knowing how far she could go. After meeting him and being on his side, she learned new things about the world and herself and witnessed more than she asked. Without Steven, and that wasn’t related at all to the fact that he was missing, she had a separate life from all the gem issues he constantly dealt with. </p><p> </p><p>She knew what she wanted and what she was doing (or that is what her workaholic mind kept telling her), but did she imagine the same for Steven? Did he give himself that chance with so much time to spare and many options? </p><p> </p><p>It didn't seem so. For Connie the alternatives were numerous. For Steven, they were reduced to 2: stay to waste away or find something to do to still be useful. They were going to take different routes until they felt ready to start a life together. Though the one who stayed wasn't Steven at all, even when he felt this way...</p><p> </p><p>It was Connie. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Two seagulls on the shore</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One is filled with excitement</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The other always feels lost</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Smiles fake, strained laughs, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Says he is ready to taste the world</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But only burns like Icarus against the sun</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Steven: New places, new opportunities (?) AKA Now what?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Obsolete.</p><p> </p><p>According to a dictionary, it is anything not in use anymore, having been replaced by something newer and better or more fashionable.</p><p> </p><p>According to a certain young man who was traveling in his Dondai, because he is close to 18 which is equal to adulthood despite the fact that he is still a kid in the law's eyes which wouldn’t benefit him because the police might stop and ask him for his car license and ID, but anyway, according to a certain young man, it meant that no, there is no one else to help because everyone knows what they're doing.</p><p> </p><p>And by everyone, he meant all the world, universe, etc., except for himself.</p><p> </p><p>And he was happy for them! Don't take him wrong!</p><p> </p><p>Steven couldn't be more proud of how much his friends and family had grown and how far they had come since he had a memory. </p><p> </p><p>Pearl was her own gem, Garnet was happily married, Amethyst loved herself and was really confident, Dad and Pearl got along pretty well. Many people dear to him were doing such great things, Lars was exploring space with his crew, Little Homeschool was accepting new students, Saddie and Shep were happy with each other, the Cool Kids have found their own calling and they liked it. </p><p> </p><p>So yeah! The future was smiling at them, all shiny and dandy!</p><p> </p><p>And what was left for him? </p><p> </p><p>Just too much time to spare and feeling utterly suffocated with nothing at all. Can you believe it? Nothing! That was weird because nothing couldn't do you anything to you. </p><p> </p><p>But as always with him, Steven Universe, things tended to be the other way. </p><p> </p><p>His mind was divided into multiple places. Emotional ones. He was enraged and exhausted, for his charming touch to help people was declining too much. He was lost and numb, after the Cactus Incident it was a miracle that leaving Beach City hadn't ended horribly because sometimes his skin turned neon pink, his ears were overwhelmed with a constant buzz and his teeth were gritted with such force that the muscles of his jaw at the end hurt like hell. </p><p> </p><p>There was also the confusion and despair that were worse than physical pain. If everyone knew what they were doing with their lives, what would be of him? What kind of purpose he could have if no one needed him anymore? </p><p> </p><p>Was he going to just stay in the house forever figuring what to do and waste people's time with his problems? </p><p> </p><p>All of them had dreams and aspirations to fulfill. He could even recall Connie telling him which university sounded more appropriate for her. The career and expectations to get there which he didn’t understand that well, but he was happy for Connie to be so excited about it. </p><p> </p><p>And that was the point, wasn't it? </p><p> </p><p>All the people he knew were doing fine <strike><strong>he wasn't</strong></strike>. They had plans and were confident about them <strike><strong>his plans were just a mess</strong></strike>, their hobbies and dreams were paying off <strike><strong>he felt totally miserable after trying gardening!</strong></strike></p><p> </p><p>His teeth clutched at his lower lip in a vicious grip while his knuckles went white for holding the steering wheel so strongly. </p><p> </p><p>Again, the sickening neon pink spread from his cheeks to his whole body. </p><p> </p><p>He tried to calm himself down and stopped himself from thinking about how the others might be doing now that he was gone. They may be freaking out and trying to find him.</p><p> </p><p>Steven scoffed. <em>Well, good luck with that, guys. If I left it was for no one to find me.</em> </p><p> </p><p>His thoughts got more troublesome and conflicting with that mental sentence.</p><p> </p><p>He despised that his mom ran away from her problems, lied to everyone, abandoned the people who cared about her, and made a bigger mess from another big mess. </p><p> </p><p>But this, no no, this wasn't running away. </p><p> </p><p>Everything was fine after all. </p><p> </p><p>Homeworld and Earth were at peace, gems and humans were getting along nicely, the Diamonds had Spinel to pamper and spend their time with, the gempire was dismantled and all the corrupted gems were healed and living better lives. </p><p> </p><p>This was everything and more than what his mom could have done if she hadn't run away and lied, but she didn't make it true. </p><p> </p><p><strong>HE</strong> did. </p><p> </p><p>He and the Crystal Gems worked hard and succeed, so all the unresolved issues his mom left behind were just a bad dream from the past. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone was happy, learning new things, making plans for their futures, feeling excited. </p><p> </p><p>No one needed him anymore. </p><p> </p><p>He was just...obsolete.</p><p> </p><p>And the only fate that awaited the antiquated like him was a loft or a trunk. </p><p> </p><p>Though a tiny part of him told him that his family and friends weren't like his mom. They wouldn't throw him away so flippantly as mom did to Spinel, Pearl, and anyone else who bored her out. </p><p> </p><p>But even if that was true, it didn't mean he was going to back down. </p><p> </p><p>Steven had seen how much his loved ones had progressed these years, so they would be fine. And it's not like wasting away and worry them was going to fix anything. </p><p> </p><p>A bitter taste came to his mouth at the mention of that little word, <strong>fix</strong>. </p><p> </p><p>He grimaced but tried to ignore it. </p><p> </p><p>This was the right thing. This was the <strong>BEST OPTION</strong>! </p><p> </p><p>His mind repeated those sentences like a mantra to not feel horrible and guilty about doing this, but was there anything else to do? </p><p> </p><p>Steven wasn't going to hold anyone back from their dreams. He almost squashed Lars, the Off-colors, Saddie, Shep, and the Cool Kids because of that.</p><p> </p><p>A change was needed. </p><p> </p><p><strong>THIS</strong> was the change. </p><p> </p><p>Besides, it's not that talking with the Gems was going to help anyway. </p><p> </p><p>Pearl would spiral into self-blame, Garnet's advice was too focused on her future vision, Amethyst acted as if her maturity was the solution of all the problems. </p><p> </p><p>And he knew they meant well and loved him, but sometimes it was <strong>him</strong> the one taking initiative despite how uncomfortable it was. </p><p> </p><p>He could still remember how he had to deal with the Roses Quartzes on his own because the others, even his dad, didn't want anything to do with more unpleasant reminders of mom. And honestly, he didn’t want to either but he wasn't going to be impolite and cold towards people who suffered because of his mom's mistakes. </p><p> </p><p>Apart from that, it shouldn't be that concerning that he was gone, right? </p><p> </p><p>He was still alive, he was fine, he was just driving and nothing bad had happened yet!</p><p> </p><p>Besides, if everyone was ok without him much before he was born, that would be the same now. They would move on and keep with their futures and lives. </p><p> </p><p>There was no space for the obsolete after all. </p><p> </p><p>His family and friends were upgrading, changing, they had their own places in Beach City or wherever they wanted to be... </p><p> </p><p>Except for him.</p><p> </p><p>But Steven wasn't going to let that ruin the others' journey!</p><p> </p><p>It was time to let the new take the place of the old and keep going. </p><p> </p><p>His eyes, bloodshot from the many hours of driving and with heavy bags on them, stung due to oncoming tears. Steven rid of them quickly before they got out of control. </p><p> </p><p>Dammit, the road was still very long and he had no idea where he would stay for the night. It was mere luck that he had enough money for tons of gas to drive that long.</p><p> </p><p>And for real, since when all those pine trees appeared? </p><p> </p><p>If there was some kind of signal, anything, to tell him where he was right now, he would really appreciate it. </p><p> </p><p>Then he saw it. </p><p> </p><p>At some meters from him was a big, rusty signboard that said in capital letters: 'WELCOME TO GRAVITY FALLS'. </p><p> </p><p>Gravity Falls? Uh, well, he wasn't going to judge a book for his cover, and hey, he finally knew there was a town near to find a motel, so it wasn't that bad anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe that place might be his new start. </p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Fanfic Image</h2></a>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that is all, guys! Thank you so much for the kudos, nice comments, compliments, and hits! Next Saturday, let's see how Steven meets the Pines family and everyone else in Gravity Falls!</p>
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